Relationships are, by their nature, complex. Just because you like someone does not always mean you will automatically be in a relationship with them. You might have even talked to them and gone on dates, only for it not to work out in the end.
This story is all too common. There are a lot of reasons why it is genuinely hard to get girls. Some men do not even know what they are doing wrong. They end up subconsciously sabotaging their chances of a romantic and exciting relationship in the process. We are here to dissect why getting a girl is so hard. Plus, what you can actually do about it!
10 Reasons Why it is So Hard To Get Girls
From cultural changes to preferences and simply because relationships and feelings are complex, there are many reasons why it is hard to get girls.
If you have no idea what you are doing or have not had much success, learning how to find a girlfriend will help. But you also need to know why it is hard to build romantic connections. It will help you understand girls more.
- Women Are More Selective
Women are selective when it comes to picking guys to date. They want the top men. In the same way, you would not want to date someone who is not your type. This means some men will naturally find it more difficult to attract a certain type of girl. - Some Girls Are Simply Shy
Another thing to consider is that women are also shy. Okay, this is a bit of a broad statement. Surely, not every girl out there is shy. However, this is true for many. If you are pursuing a shy girl, you must adapt your approach accordingly. - Receiving Mixed Signals
Sometimes, you might receive mixed signals from a girl you are interested in. Therefore it might lead you to completely drop the ball. Try to understand the signals. Ask directly if you need to. The confidence also comes off attractive. Do not be cocky, though. - Most Pick-up Advices Are Bad
If you think you will get all the girls you want by following what social media pick-up artists do, boy, are you mistaken! The same can also be said for taking advice from girls on how to get girls.
They can be misleading and will lead you down the wrong path. The best way is to talk to women you are interested in, see how they respond, and reflect on what you can change. We are not saying do not ask for advice. Definitely do, especially from experienced men. But take everything with a grain of salt.
- Chasing Only The Idea of Dating
This is an easy trap to fall into. Many guys get infatuated with the idea of dating or having a girlfriend. In doing so, they often create elaborate scenarios and put women on pedestals instead of being in the moment and enjoying being with a girl they like. - You Are Insecure
As we already mentioned, most women want confident and successful men, which makes it quite hard to get a girl if you are insecure. Insecurities are sort of like a catch-22.
Your insecurities will make you appear unconfident, which will then make it difficult to attract girls, thus making you more insecure. It is a cruel loop.
- There Is No Real Connection
Another reason why many guys find it difficult to get girls is they are chasing someone they have no real connection with. This is a problem with more guys than you might think.
You might be after someone who is an outdoorsy person that likes talking about literature and music. Whereas you on the other hand, are an indoor person.
- You Are Pursuing Someone With Opposite Dating Values
When you want to “get” a girl, your dating values also need to match, you might want a serious relationship while the girl is either looking to date casually. If you are talking to someone who has opposite dating values, chances are things will not work out. - You Are Only Going For Looks
Let’s be honest, many guys are guilty of this. You often go after girls purely for how they look. While attraction is important for a successful relationship, it is only one piece of the puzzle.
If you want someone just because they are beautiful, it will be hard to create a deep meaningful connection with someone beyond that.
- You Are Not Focusing On Yourself
Lastly, and perhaps one of the most important reasons why many guys find it hard to get girls is they ignore themselves. Focus on yourself. Make sure you are the best possible partner a girl could have. You will see a lot that will start to go your way.
How To Make It Easier To Get Girls?
Alright, after all that analyzing, what do you do about it? The game is pretty simple. We said simple, but not easy, by the way. You need to be disciplined and charming. Develop good habits and stay consistent. Here are the things you can do to greatly improve your chances.
Start With Yourself
The best place to start improving your dating game is with yourself. Put actual time and effort into your mental and physical health. If you need professional help, therapy can go a long way.
You can learn how to hold a conversation with a girl and have fun being around. Hit the gym, get a job, travel, pick up a hobby. Remember when you are interested in your life, others will be too!
Make Sure Your Dating Goals Along
Sometimes, you need to understand when to call it quits. Be clear on goals and values and pursue girls who share them. You will find much more success that way. A relationship takes two.
Do Not Put Women On a Pedestal
Do not put women on a pedestal. On the contrary, do not disrespect women either. Neither of these will get you anywhere. Putting them on a pedestal will subconsciously change how you act around her. You will treat her like someone you do not deserve, and that is unattractive.
Do Not Chase After The Idea of Dating Someone
Instead of daydreaming about being in a relationship, live in the moment. Focus on the person you are talking to. Understand her. Talk to her about her life, aspirations, likes, and wants.
You know? Get to know her. Make your intentions clear. This will allow you two to create a genuine connection. Relationships where there is a genuine connection and compatibility are the ones that are more fulfilling anyway.
Learn When To Move On
Some things are just not meant to be. This is a fact of life. You will not get every girl you talk to. Your values and goals might align. They might not be interested in you and many other reasons.
It is always better to call it quits when the writing’s on the wall. You will save yourself a lot of mental stress. There is no shame in it.
A No Is Always A No
At no point in the history of dating and relationships did a no ever mean yes. It never did, and never will. A girl giving mixed signals, or playing hard to get is completely different than a hard no.
You need to realize when a girl is clearly not interested. If she doesn’t reply to your texts, flakes on dates, or simply refuses to go out with you, it means she is not interested.
Do not chase after someone who does not want you. This might seem harsh. But it will keep your value as a man high and is also good for your happiness.
There might be even times when your being confident and okay with rejection makes her come around. But that is a whole different thing. But when a girl says no, take it for a no because that is what it is.
Wrapping Up
Finding it difficult to connect with someone is not uncommon. Dating is complex. But now that you know some of the reasons why it is hard to get girls, you will have a better plan to work around it.
Be the guy she wants to be with. Work on yourself, show confidence, court her and show her a good time. Most importantly focus on her and building a real connection instead of just chasing the idea of a relationship.
If you can do those things before you know it, you will be on an exciting dating journey with your sweetheart!
