In the immortal words of Hank Williams, “Your deceitful heart will tell you,” and this astrologer will tell it for what it is, slamming down the liars, womanizers, cheaters, shadowballs and damned of the zodiac.
The revelation that GMA co-hosts TJ Holmes and Amy Robach are involved in an affair spanning several months and at least a half-marathon is the latest in the ever-expanding landscape of celebrity cheating scandals.
In the past year alone, alleged serial scumbag Jesse James has been accused of cheating on his pregnant wife and married Adam Levine has been caught up in a DM dumpster fire that set the stage for Twitter gold.
To be honest, cheating is more of a human condition than a sign symptom, but there are certain astrological energies that indicate a predisposition to adultery. When the Sun, Moon, or Venus fall into any of the following signs, a wandering gaze and loose attachment definition is likely. But remember folks, cheating is always a choice and we can all do our part to fuck with integrity.
With that in mind, I bring you a list of zodiac signs most likely to cheat.
TWINS (May 21 – June 20)
Ruled by the communicative Mercury, Gemini are an odd bunch that requires plenty of mental stimulation, whether it be provocative nudes or illicit conversation. While most of them would rather talk about sex than actually have it, they don’t say no to something weird when the alternative is boredom or loneliness. Gemini is all about fluid relationships and flexibility when it comes to moral codes. They also spend a decent chunk of their daily lives distancing themselves from their own wrongdoing. In this way, they use selective amnesia and other questionable reasons to justify their indiscretions.
Actual excuses I’ve heard from cheating twins are “I was in a different time zone so it’s like it never really happened” and “I was a different person then” then last Sunday. Geminis are absolutely second to none when it comes to gas lighting. So if you deal with one, be prepared to talk your suspicions out and seek therapy for your trust issues.
Stepping on their partners is the preferred form of cardio for Gemini cheaters, con artists, and dubious guys like Scott Disick, Kanye West, Donald Trump, and Eddie Cibrian. While Moon Gemini like Lamar Odom and Jesse James prove having a moon in this mutable sign is just as suspect.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Nobody lies as easily or cheats as productively as a Libra. These people are preternaturally adept at smearing a social situation, avoiding conflict, evading accountability, and covering up their extramarital affairs. Ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and the hindrance of ugly details, Libras speak lies like a language of love and flirt as if their lives depended on it. They dislike being alone and love receiving compliments, a combination that lends itself to cheating.
We see this propensity for deceit in shady Libras like Mario “Cheating on my fiancee at my bachelorette party” Lopez, Usher “These are my confessions” Raymond, and Shaggy, the artist behind the hard-hitting denial ballad “It Wasn’t Me.” in terms of moon placements and scarlet letters lead Libra moons like TJ Holmes, Jude Law and Claire Danes, while Sagittarius Sun/Libra Moon rap legend Jay-Z is among the most famous examples of the consequences of infidelity. Following his reported indiscretions, our man was struck down in an elevator by a sister-in-law Solange and suffered the resounding wrath of a woman despised in the form of his wife Beyoncé’s acclaimed album Lemonade.
Of his failure, Jay told The New York Times, “The hardest thing is seeing the pain on someone’s face that you’ve caused and then having to deal with yourself.” I would argue that the hardest thing is Being publicly humiliated and passed over for Becky with the good hair, but you do it, Jay, we’re all in the works.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
As a mutable water sign, Pisces struggles a lot with boundaries and will always champion poetry, making them easy targets for extramarital affairs. They may not be looking for an opportunity to get lost, but they won’t walk away from it either, and in the case of Sunfish Amy Robach, they may just jog towards it. Pisces people are an escapist breed who love anything that offers a respite from reality. While booze, drugs, bouncy castles, and Christmas movies are their favorite escape routes, they’ll settle for a wet-eyed stranger with a lower back tattoo, a broken wing, and a sad song to sing.
Some true all-star womanizers have been Pisces, including but not limited to Tristan “lovechild” Thompson, Adam “name my son after my lover” Levine, top scumbag pederast Josh Duggar and Robin Thicke, who are in most Pisces of all time wrote a WHOLE apology album after cheating on his wife Paula Patton. A word to the wise and to the wandering eye, if you never screw up, you don’t have to work so hard to make amends. Don’t apologize, be better.
Astrology 101: Your Guide to the Stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle irreverently explores and reports on planetary configurations and their impact on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experiences. She is also an accomplished writer who has portrayed a variety of artists and performers and extensively documented her travel experiences. Among the many fascinating topics she has covered are graveyard etiquette, her love of pubs, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girl guide” to strip clubs, and the “weirdest” foods available overseas.
https://nypost.com/article/zodiac-signs-most-likely-to-cheat/ The three zodiac signs are serial scammers