What a hole block.
A British professor who hilariously suggested that Scotland’s iconic Loch Ness Monster was actually a ‘penis from a whale’ has since dismissed his suggestive claim.
“There are no whales at all in Loch Ness,” said Michael Sweet, a molecular ecologist at the University of Derby live science regarding his cryptozoological bomb.
The researcher first spread the controversial theory in a tweet on April 8 with almost 100,000 likes.
“Travellers/explorers used to draw what they saw.” wrote the scientist. “A lot of sea monster stories come from here, e.g. Tentacles and alien appendages emerging from the water – suggesting something more sinister lurking beneath… but in many cases it was just forest – – ks.”
The accompanying photos juxtapose a classic black and white photograph of Nessie with an image of a blue whale’s penis sticking out of the water. The images illustrate how similar the loch legend’s head and neck looked to the appendage of a whale, which is the largest in the animal kingdom, reaching a maximum length of 10 feet.
Sweet described why blue whales love to do this in a subsequent tweet Break through penis first. “Whales often mate in groups, so while one male is busy with the female, the other male will just toss his d–k out of the water while he swims around waiting for his turn,” he mused. “Everybody needs to have a little fun, right?”
The whale of a story caused quite a stir on Twitter with one commenter wonder“Why were the whales showing their d–ks in front of random people?”
another wrote“Big d – – k energy so strong it creates monsters.”
Charles Paxton, a statistical and aquatic ecologist, even posted a tweet in which he claims to have written the research paper Sweet based his Twitter tirade on. The article, published in Edinburgh University Press, posited that a dreaded sea serpent “originally described in 1741 by the ‘apostle of Greenland’ Hans Egede” was actually an “unknown whale”.
“The species seen was probably a humpback whale (Megaptera novaeangliae), a North Atlantic right whale (Eubalena glacialis) or one of the last remaining Atlantic gray whales (Eschrichtius robustus) either without flukes or possibly an aroused male.” Read the abstract of the paper.
However, Paxton believed that Nessie was unlikely to be an outdoor entrant and tweeted: “We have never claimed (and I certainly do not believe) that many reports of sea snakes have come from whale penis sightings. Just one or two.”
He added in a follow-up post that he never suggested displaying Walphallus as an explanation for freshwater monsters, since whales rarely invade freshwater.
Sweet has since retracted the slippery theory.
“I was just using the picture of Nessie as an example of how people have described what sea monsters look like,” said Sweet, who firmly believes the Scottish monster is a hoax. He added that Nessie “was a bad choice in this case” as there are no whales in Loch Ness.
Nonetheless, the scientist claimed that “penis (of various kinds) were certainly confused by weary and half-starved sailors around the world.”
In September, a British outdoor man canoeing through Loch Ness took drone footage of what many internet Alu Hatters claimed was the fabled Nessie. The photographer has since attributed it to a “light/wave trick”.
https://nypost.com/2022/04/18/no-loch-ness-monster-isnt-a-whale-penis-professor-says/ No, the Loch Ness Monster is not a whale penis, says the professor