Networks thoughtlessly waste millions on underperforming broadcasters

Faced daily with the absurd, we find solace and comfort in the words of philosopher and former Yankee, fiery right-hander Joba Chamberlain, after a thorough blast.

“At the end of the day,” he said, “the sun rises.”

Maybe Chamberlain shares a planetarium locker with Kyrie Irving.

As chronicled by colleague Andrew Marchand, television’s mindless excesses were on full display as the networks scramble to dump hundreds of millions of dollars on NFL votes that strike most, if not all, of us as special.

The money that television’s advertisers are offering to those who so often present annoying, uncomfortable obstacles to viewers and television is overwhelming.

Still, TV execs remain convinced that what they should know more than most can’t be done – hire announcers who can make us listen to them instead of watching the game. Very simple: no game, no audience. How can these executives be so distant?

This pointless waste – hey, let’s send five or six hilarious studio guys to venues where we can’t hear them screaming over the background noise at halftime! – can only be the result of four things:

1) Sports TV execs can’t tell bad from worse.

2) TV executives never listen to their games.

3) TV managers must be free of foresight.

4) Some nutcase stole the stations’ checkbooks.

Troy Aikman is a nice guy to talk to at events. But in his 20 years at Fox, he hadn’t noticeably improved to become a fluent announcer of the games before him.

He was forced to preface his remarks with repetitive and boring idioms, while his sense of the conspicuously remarkable – a glaring late hit to give the opposing team a first down – was treated with cotton-coated caution like “an unwise play”. and “not smart”.

His new deal with ESPN, $90 million over five years, is further proof that ESPN is a 24/7 bad food chain.

Aikman’s longtime Fox partner Joe Buck is also willing to jump for a lot more money. He’s also a nice guy to chat with and exchange hilarious texts with, but his on-air persona is that of a stat parrot trying to adorn TV shows with a transparent smoothness that turns into an unnatural, oversized one effort translated.

Joe Buck (left) and Troy Aikman (right)
Joe Buck (left) and Troy Aikman (right)

Why would Aikman and Buck be in such high demand? If I discover the answer, you’ll be the second to know.

Now ESPN’s lead college football analyst, Kirk Herbstreit, appears to be involved. In 1996, Herbstreit broke into ESPN full of promises. He was frank, concise, sharp.

But he soon became a dogged hedonist, an overbearing chatterbox bent on speaking real pigskin gibberish to dazzle audiences and unsuspecting TV execs, rather than best serving both by speaking plain, accurate English .

NBC will keep Cris Collinsworth at $12.5 million per deal to keep talking to us and telling us he could see what we just saw coming.

So now for the obvious and redundant: has there ever been a sports reporter who got us tuning in to a game to actually watch what we otherwise didn’t want to watch? Of course not. You have a better chance of driving us off.

The best that the best can do is improve the television show. A Doc Emrick and Marv Albert could set us up for a blowout.

Kirk Herbstreit
Kirk Herbstreit
Getty Images

In the third phase of one-sided games, Emrick lapsed into his anecdotal mode, his charm, his hockey wisdom, his friendship with the audience that caught his attention.

Albert used the NBA’s “garbage season” to bring out his analyst’s funny side, humanizing him even if it metaphorically needed a hot foot. His hard-hitting late-game exchanges with the late John Andariese and Mike Fratello were something special.

Aside from that, the late Skip Caray, son of Harry and longtime TV voice of the Atlanta Braves, put it beautifully. Late in glitches, he said, “If you promise to patronize our advertisers, you’ll be fired.”

Why the fuss over Harden NY’s ‘return’?

Over the weekend, a mailing from second-market broker TickPick informed us that tickets to last Sunday’s 76ers-Knicks game were priced higher in response to James Harden’s expected return to New York.

Fascinating. Given that Harden was a net for about 20 minutes, such a sentimental sale at inflated prices seemed odd. Even though the garden was packed with Philly fans, such a deep, dear appreciation for his “return” to New York came as a surprise.

Maybe that explains why the Yankees will be retiring Harden’s number.

James Harden
James Harden
USA TODAY sports

The fellow who should have received the most attention during the ABC/ESPN coverage of the game was the Sixers’ team doctor, who performed an overnight miracle on Harden’s chronically problematic hamstring that prevented him from playing for the Nets.

It’s worth noting that Harden forced his move from the Rockets to the Nets after making it clear he no longer wanted to play for Houston.

Or maybe Harden boarded that fabled miracle flight to Palm Beach International last week, in which old folks in wheelchairs are escorted to the gate and then tumble off the plane when it arrives.

MLB fans hit out with Rob

There is so much Bud Selig in Rob Manfred that you could choke.

When MLB installed the Interleague game, Selig claimed it was “a gift to our fans.” Rubbish. It was a gift to team owners, who immediately inflated the cost of tickets to those games.

Even when Barry Bonds was identified as a PED hitter, Selig allowed team owners to raise prices on games when the Giants came to town with Bonds. And when the new Yankee Stadium opened, his claim of personally finding all the tickets affordable remains a strikingly carrying pot.

Now Manfred is asking us to believe that he has fulfilled the wishes of “our fans” by lobbying the MLBPA to further shorten both the regular season and the postseason by qualifying up to 14 teams to the playoffs . Yes, like Selig, he is a populist.

Not that baseball fans are easy to find lately, but have you heard two clamor for more rounds in the playoffs?

More playoff layers only benefit team owners based on ticket and TV earnings.

Meanwhile, MLB is making further moves to sell exclusive rights to games to paid streaming services, making baseball less accessible to its devoted but thoroughly abused and ignored fans/customers/suckers.

News of an indefinite delay to the start of the season has allowed remaining MLB fans to enjoy a well-deserved sense of Schadenfreude, a German word meaning to take pleasure in the misery of others.

Chris Kirk is a late emerging PGA Tour rookie who may be a late bloomer as he is a recovering alcoholic. Every time Kirk appears on television, his alcoholism is noted. NBC’s Dan Hicks did so last weekend when Kirk challenged for the lead.

Chris Kirk
Chris Kirk
Getty Images

Funnily enough, Tiger Woods’ drug rehabilitation – after he was found in his car passed out with multiple opioids – was completely ignored by Hicks, as well as most golf voices on US TV. It kind of ruins the perspective that he’s the greatest guy alive.

Reader Steve Arendash argues that the Knicks’ game plans begin and end with which uniform they will wear. Networks thoughtlessly waste millions on underperforming broadcasters


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