NetflixZXzzz is a joke: The Festival – 250 shows at 30 venues. Amy Schumer, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Snoop Dogg. A week-long Yukfest. The Greek Theater in LA. Also John Mulaney at the Hollywood Bowl. Patrons “dress in formal wear”. Write your own joke about it. . . Forget kosher. French brasserie Le Marais would like to announce that it is open on Passover. Great. Filtered fish au gratin? . . . And Brian Stokes Mitchell just got the National Dance Institute Gala.
Yesterday’s Four Tops didn’t win a Grammy for “I’ll Be There,” but their hit will be remembered forever now. They told me this civil rights anthem was added to the National Recording Registry at the Library of Congress today.
Duke Fakir, sole survivor of the legendary Four Tops: “I’m deeply surprised that this happened. We viewed this song as an experiment – we never thought it would even make it onto the album, let alone the Library of Congress.
“‘I’ll Be There’ is my personal microcosm of black life and success in America. The lyrics said he will be there in his girl’s darkest moments. A song of hope. Today, with our pain of war and chaos, perhaps what we all need is hope.”
Steve Spangler, a TV scientist, on amusing kids who are stuck at home all these months: Commandeer the kitchen. take a plate Pour some milk over it. Get some food coloring from your cupboard and add a few drops of color to the center of the milk basin – red, green, yellow, blue, you name it. Find whatever liquid dish soap you have. Put a tiny drop in the middle. Move it around with a toothpick. You will see a color explosion. You will migrate by yourself. The molecules line up with the fat in the milk, flipping the color around.
Put cornstarch in a bowl. Add a little water. Bring it to the consistency of honey. Squeeze your hand into this mixture and try to pull it up quickly. tipping. plugged. Hit it and it won’t go anywhere.
wine glass. Some water in its bottom. A few drops of red food coloring. Fill the rest of the jar with vegetable oil. Water above, oil below. Break a Mentos tablet in half. Drop into glass. This Alka-Seltzer tablet works through the oil. As soon as it touches water, it erupts and beautiful bubbles appear, breaking inside the glass, and then circling around again.
“Bottle of Diet Coke. Enter three Mentos. See the eruption of all that carbon dioxide gas.”
Snipes & Swipes
Glorious insults from a time before the English language was reduced to four-letter words:
Winston Churchill: “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway): “He was never known to use a word that would make a dictionary reader could send.”
I reported about the cruelty of the Cossacks in Ukraine during the pogroms a long time ago. Kill entire communities, burn shtetls, murder Catholics in exchange for privileges. They are to Putin what the SS was to Hitler.
A day after I wrote this, Putin promoted General Alexander Dvornikov to head his Ukraine horror. This “Butcher of Syria”, as he is called, led the Cossacks, about murder and blood, through the second Chechen war. He will now lead the same Cossacks from the Donbass region to eastern Ukraine. Consider.
After coming off my meds, I was thrilled yesterday writing about our new Staten Island FerryHawks baseball team. John Catsimatidis is its chairman. I repeat. Chairman is John Catsimatidis. John Catsimatidis. John Catsimatidis. John Catsimatidis. John Catsimatidis. John Catsimatidis.
Also, Staten Island is only in New York, kids, only in New York.
https://nypost.com/2022/04/12/netflix-puts-jokes-on-parade-with-its-own-festival/ Netflix is showcasing jokes with its own festival