My neighbor upstairs is making my life hell

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with the lady who lives above me. I moved into my apartment a month ago because the complex seemed so quiet. Before I signed the lease, I asked my landlord if the tenant above me is quiet, because when you live on the first floor you can sometimes hear everything that is happening above you. The landlord assured me that it was pretty quiet. A few weeks passed and it was quiet until one Friday I heard this pounding noise above me. I thought it would go away.

I didn’t know that the lady upstairs is looking after her two grandchildren and another boy. Abby, this tramping is going on all weekend and it’s driving me insane. I banged on the ceiling to let her know it was getting too loud. She called our landlord and complained! My landlady is also a customer of my daughter who is a hairdresser, so I got infected by my daughter too. Do I just have to grin and bear it, or should I say something to the lady upstairs? — You can’t live like that in Michigan

Dear, you can’t live like that: When your landlady told you that the tenants were quiet upstairs, she lied and misled you. What you need to do now is get out of that lease. The quickest way to do this would be to consult a real estate attorney. You don’t have to live like this, and your daughter shouldn’t blame you or side with the person causing the problem.

DEAR ABBY: I have a beautiful goddaughter from whom I am estranged. Although I promised her that she would be maid of honor at my wedding in 2015 (my second marriage), I didn’t. My fiancé was diagnosed with HD so we decided to have an engagement ceremony instead. I felt bad but didn’t contact her immediately to explain that I wouldn’t have nurses after all. It’s unclear now but I think I emailed her or asked her mother (my dear friend) to tell her. My friend denies that her daughter is angry, but my goddaughter hasn’t spoken to me since 2015. She is engaged now. I would like to write her a letter, but I don’t know what to say. I considered sending it in the mail without telling my girlfriend because, as I said, she still denies that anything is wrong. I found the address on the internet. What do you think? It breaks my heart knowing I won’t be able to celebrate their upcoming wedding. — SAD IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SAD: If you feel the need to write your goddaughter a letter outlining the valid reason why you and your husband have decided not to have a formal escorted wedding, then do it. Your reason for changing your plans was valid. While things must have been hectic at the time you made that decision, it would have been better if you’d explained the reason for your abrupt change of plans directly to her. Since this is important to you, apologize for the delay in getting in touch and tell her that you were delighted to hear about her upcoming wedding and that you would love to celebrate it with her. Then keep your fingers crossed because the ball is hers.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Caroline Bleakley

Caroline Bleakley is a USTimeToday U.S. News Reporter based in London. His focus is on U.S. politics and the environment. He has covered climate change extensively, as well as healthcare and crime. Caroline Bleakley joined USTimeToday in 2022 from the Daily Express and previously worked for Chemist and Druggist and the Jewish Chronicle. He is a graduate of Cambridge University. Languages: English. You can get in touch with Caroline Bleakley by emailing

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