My dating rules eliminate common men – because I have standards

Extremely strict rules apply to them in the game of love.

Stalking, sobriety and abstaining from sexual exchange are just some of the unshakeable rules a Gen Z influencer swears by when dating – and the brunette’s inflexible formula has made her the man of her dreams.

“Men [are] I’m not wasting my time anymore,” boasted tastemaker Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK, to NeedToKnow online.

After the difficult split from her ex in 2020, she compiled a list of eight non-negotiable, unbreakable couples dating mandates that all wannabe beaus must abide by.

Her cute rule resembles the rules of superstitious singles, such as the rule that a first date must be on a Thursday, or the controversial advice for women should having sex on the first date.

Kaur has an answer to that.

(Left) Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK, shares her list of dating rules on TikTok.  (Right) Kaur poses for a photo on a couch.
TikTok user Tam Kaur said her strict list of dating rules helped her track down crazy guys and find true love.

She recently offered her more than 255,000 TikTok followers a comprehensive breakdown of what’s on offer, captioning the viral post, “These rules have made my dating life 10 times better.”

Kaur started her list of demands, insisting that every social media applicant should dive into her direct messages with some swag.

“Stay respectful and don’t be easy,” she ordered in the video, which racked up over 187,000 views. “The opening line of our conversation will tell me everything I need to know about the kind of man you are, how often you DM and how unique you are.”

“I refuse to reply to DMs that start with ‘Hi,’ ‘How are you?’, ‘What’s up?’, ‘You’re pretty,'” she moaned. “Better do it. Strike up an interesting conversation if you’re genuinely interested in who I am.”

Kaur then highlighted her second basic rule of romance: stalking.

Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK, takes a mirror selfie.
Kaur’s top rules aim to weed out lame men who only make themselves known in relationship matters.
Jam Press/Tam Kaur

“I’ll follow you in everything,” she warned gentleman suitors, revealing her plans to meticulously comb through her various digital profiles. “I have to, I’m a woman.”

“When I find problematic tweets, [‘Im] I’m not talking to you,” she explained. “If you follow a group of girls who don’t follow you on Instagram, that sucks!!!…”

Kaur then set her third order in stone, decreeing that hopeful lovers have a firm “seven-day deadline” to ask her out or else they would automatically be deemed unworthy of their time. The matter-of-fact siren also noted that she would keep a vigilant eye on a man’s every move for the first few days of communication, calling her observation “a test” of a man’s ability to treat her like a lady.

If a poor Schlub was lucky enough to meet her four most important criteria, he had to abide by Kaur’s fifth rule — set up a proper first date.

Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK on TikTok.
Kaur has set impressively high standards for the first date, insisting that the man must plan a fun activity so that he can have fun and demonstrate good manners throughout the day.
Jam Press Vid/Tam Kaur

“You’re going to be 100% the one planning the first date,” she said.

“I’m fine with anything, but let’s make it short and sweet, in a public place during the day and no alcohol,” Kaur continued, adding, though, that she refused to take a walk to the inauguration or to a man’s house visit meet.

Next, she claimed that at the outset of their relationship, would-be lovers need to exhibit the “bare minimum” of qualities and behaviors, including “loyalty, respect, communication, listening to the conversation, making eye contact… not on the phone, showing manners, etc .” Courtesy towards the service staff.”

And while it is vital for Kaur to demonstrate these qualities, she will not overtly flatter the man who behaves so decently.

“I’m not going to applaud you for that,” she said.

Tam Kaur, 22, from the UK, applies lip gloss.
Kaur says men who want to date her shouldn’t expect praise for making up for their claims.
Jam Press/Tam Kaur

Kaur’s seventh golden rule is rooted in the energy of a budding friend. She said: “I’m only attracted to healthy masculine energy and a provider mentality. If I find out you don’t have that, bye!”

Finally, the hard-boiled beauty explained that contenders for her heart should never expect their generosity to be rewarded with sex.

“Just because you asked me out and paid for my dinner doesn’t mean I owe you any physical intimacy,” Kaur said. “If you try to be pushy with a kiss, even though I didn’t imply that’s what I wanted, bye!”

And she says her unyielding list has gotten her lucky in love.

“I learned these rules after dating a few years in a row [college]’ Kaur told NeedToKnow. “I wrote down what I was actually looking for in a partner and decided to set a limit where I wouldn’t accept anything else.”

Tam Kaur, 22, from the United Kingdom, poses with his hand in his hair.
While women have thanked Kaur for her wise advice, men have slammed the beauty for being “demanding” to date.
Jam Press/Tam Kaur

She hopes her uncompromising credos will help other women avoid bad sharks in the dating pool.

“I want to normalize high standards,” Kaur said. “I share my lessons and make sure women around the world don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

“Due to negative past experiences, we’re literally holding ourselves back from getting the treatment we’ve always dreamed of,” she added.

And single girls around the world are praising her.

“The reaction online has been overwhelmingly positive,” Kaur gushed, noting that “thousands” of female fans reached out to her with applause for her stringers checklist.

“Women are so surprised that what they once praised men for isn’t all that impressive,” she said, “and they should feel confident stepping into their power and just opting for ‘princess treatment.'”

Tam Kaur, 22, from Great Britain, drinks from a wine glass.
After a string of bad breakups, Kaur made her list to make sure she would never be mistreated by men again.
Jam Press/Tam Kaur

However, not everyone is impressed by Kaur’s dating dictum.

Online, make-haters flock to her comments section with criticism and disdain.

“I’m for high standards, but you seem pretentious,” chided one critic.

“Here’s how you can do better: Don’t date this guy, you’ll be happier.” Can you imagine six months or more of that?” “I’ve already done that,” spat another troll.

“Kid, give yourself half your effort [you did into making] this cute little one [list of] requirements

“You made me make myself a sandwich,” wrote one apparent misogynist.

But Kaur isn’t easily upset by opponents.

In fact, she was too busy enjoying her new relationship to care about the critics.

“I just celebrated a year with my boyfriend and it was my happiest and healthiest relationship,” Kaur said. “

It meets every standard I’ve ever written and then some.”

Caroline Bleakley

Caroline Bleakley is a USTimeToday U.S. News Reporter based in London. His focus is on U.S. politics and the environment. He has covered climate change extensively, as well as healthcare and crime. Caroline Bleakley joined USTimeToday in 2022 from the Daily Express and previously worked for Chemist and Druggist and the Jewish Chronicle. He is a graduate of Cambridge University. Languages: English. You can get in touch with Caroline Bleakley by emailing

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