MMA champions offer to train Elon Musk to fight in a cage with Zuckerberg

A who’s who of MMA fighters has fallen out with Mark Zuckerberg – so they’re backing Elon Musk ahead of a possible cage fight between the tech titans.
At least eight UFC fighters, Brazilian jiu-jitsu champions and more, led by former MMA champion Chad Robichaux, are offering to coach Musk for the planned cage fight with meta CEO Zuckerberg via the launch of his microblogging rival Threads.
For some of them it’s about revenge.
“Nobody likes Zuckerberg because he’s a communist who suppresses our speech and ruins most of our businesses,” Robichaux told the Post. “We feel he needs his rhythm.”
“I was the victim of Zuckerberg’s violation of my First Amendment rights,” said Robichaux, who directs the Mighty Oaks Foundation, a veterans group. “Every Monday I have to hold a staff meeting and we have to figure out what we can and can’t say so we’re not being oppressed.”
The martial arts masters see 52-year-old Musk as their chance for revenge – although Musk and Zuck recently took to social media to discuss a potential cage fight. Most recently, Musk claimed on his social network X – formerly known as Twitter – that he plans to drive by Zuckerberg’s house to see if he “actually opens the door.”


“Mark is traveling and not in Palo Alto,” a spokesman for Zuckerberg replied. “Plus, Mark takes this sport seriously and doesn’t fight anyone who happens to show up at his house.”
The nonsense talk comes even as Zuckerberg launched Threads last month, a challenger to X that quickly racked up 100 million signups — more than a quarter of X’s active user base and aiming at creating a friendly place” – having declined sharply since then.
As for the literal cage fight, “I would love to see Elon win, I think that would be a great victory for humanity,” BJJ champion Thomas Cronin told The Post, citing his philosophical connection to the space and electric car guru.

The other eight champions currently on board include: UFC fighter Jalen Turner, former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton Jackson, Strikeforce champion and UFC title contender Nate Marquardt, current UFC contender Alex Morono, veteran Brazilian Jiu -Jitsu teacher Vinicius Draculino Magalhaes and Carlson Gracie Jr., his father Carlos Gracie is being considered one of the founders of Brazilian Jiu-Jistu.
“I have to side with Elon Musk… [because] of freedom of expression. “Zuckerberg is kind of taking away free speech on his platforms,” Jackson said. “Musk is more of an upright guy.”
Not much is known about Musk’s masterful strategy to avert utter annihilation at the hands of Zuckerberg. In June he joked

“I mean, with the size difference, he could probably make it for a while,” Turner said Top 15 UFC Lightweight Contenderslaughed.
“I think Elon Musk has a good sense of humor,” Jackson mused when asked about “The Walrus.”
Robichaux noted that “The Walrus” sounds a lot like a “wet blanket” technique he uses in jiu-jitsu to wear his enemies down to the point of exhaustion and frustration, causing them to start making mistakes.

“That’s good. He’s a bigger guy,” Robichaux quipped [could] Use his body weight to relieve fatigue, Zuckerberg — to keep him getting up.”
Still, the jostling maestros believe they can do much better.
Cronin, a Brazilian jiu-jitsu trainer who has coached countless UFC fighters, has read up on Zuckerberg and is already discovering some vulnerabilities that can be exploited.

“There are a few things I see in Zuckerberg’s practice that don’t really appeal to her as far as I can tell. And we want to capitalize on those positions,” Cronin said.
Cronin believes he “knows exactly how” Zuckerberg will speak and knows exactly how Musk can “thwart his plans.” He keeps the details secret.
Jackson claimed that given Zuckerberg’s considerable jiu-jitsu advantage, Musk would be in danger if he got into a scuffle.
“If I were Elon Musk, I wouldn’t bring him down for a second,” Jackson said, stressing that he would do his best to keep the ground up.
Gracie Jr., a six-time Brazilian freestyle and Greco-Roman wrestling champion also known as “The Prince of BJJ,” warned against “overtraining” Musk to the point of exhaustion.
“We would have to learn some basic basic techniques and first you have to assess your level and from there we can work from there [him]” Gracie Jr. told The Post.

There are questions as to whether the struggle will ever bear fruit. Pile of sugar cast doubtsclaiming that Musk “isn’t serious” and that “it’s time to move on.”
Musk, previously challenged Russian President Vladimir Putin fought each other in a Hail Mary operation to save Ukraine from devastation, claiming Italian officials agreed to an “epic site” for the internet boss hype.
However, Italy’s culture minister Gennaro Sangiuliano seemed to shut down speculation about a much-rumored “gladiator”-style showdown in the ancient Colosseum, declaring “it will not take place in Rome”.

Zuckerberg has pushed fans to “take on everything [Musk] says it was not agreed on.”
Musk has it too claims that he needed an “MRI of my neck and upper back” and “may possibly require surgery before the fight can take place.”
Should Musk start training, Martial Arts Battalion would likely gently persuade him to adjust his diet.

Musk who assumes that the probability is high We live in a sim, has raved about soul-enriching junk food, and claimed (perhaps jokingly) that we eat a donut every morning.
Zuckerberg, who is attempting to develop his own human simulation, says he eats 4,000 calories a day to fuel his intense exercise regimen, often including heavy McDonald’s orders, which he describes as “so delicious.”
“[Musk] He probably needs a good, healthy diet for a good 30 days to clean out his system and have the energy,” Robichaux said, “just to keep his system working well and energizing his body.”
Another potential hurdle for Musk is the age difference with Zuckerberg, which is about 13 years.
Robichaux, about four years younger than Musk, stressed that Musk can overcome it, citing how he eats younger fighters for breakfast.
“I’m 48. I beat up 18- and 20-year-old kids at the gym every day,” Robichaux joked, dead serious. “There’s something about this generation.”
Another option is rejuvenating stem cell therapy.
Eric Scoffers, CEO of Bioexcellorator, a treatment company, told The Post, “We’re going to roll out the red carpet for Elon to make sure he’s in the best shape to beat Zuckerberg.”
“Bioexcellorator is the UFC’s exclusive stem cell treatment center,” he added. “They cover current UFC champions. The treatment they offer will close the age gap between Musk and Zuckerberg.”

The fighter jet squadron has different ideas about what boot camp might look like, but is flexible depending on Musk’s tastes.
At least one of the martial artists is stunned that the plutocrats would rather expose themselves to such violent brutality than lead a comfortable lifestyle.
“I was really surprised that two billionaires want to compete in the cage. I’ve been a fighter for over 20 years. If I were a billionaire, there’s no way I would set foot in a cage,” Jackson said.

“I started to take care of my family – for me it was a rush,” he added. “I did it to pay the bills.”
Musk has previously hinted that billionaire Melee will be raising money for veterans’ and children’s hospitals in Italy. The Robichaux side hope they could consider donating some of these funds The Mighty Oaks Foundation.
The group works to combat post-traumatic stress disorder and prevent veteran suicides.

Robichaux is credited with leading one of the largest known civilian evacuation efforts from Afghanistan after the Taliban took power.