We all know those awkward moments when a child shows up to a birthday party uninvited.
The invited child is often brought to their siblings as a “plus one” and the parents just assume it’s okay without asking the host.
Well, that’s exactly what happened at a ten-year-old’s recent party — and the birthday boy’s mom didn’t get a penny.
She went to a popular forum to explain what happened…
It was an intimate, pre-paid event, paying per child
“I’m a mother of three and like most parents I’m sure you’ve attended many birthday parties and have been unfortunate enough to see a parent who always brings their children over and then leaves, not considering that not all of the children are with them we were invited,” she begins.
“Sometimes more than one parent does that and to be honest I think it’s selfish. If it had been agreed beforehand with the host family, everything would certainly be fine, but often it isn’t. Who would say no to a child? After all, it’s not her fault.”
The poster then explains that her parents at school are all aware of her dislike of this behavior. “It’s an overall miserable situation for the sibling who doesn’t have a boyfriend and isn’t usually in his age group, and the host parent has to try to get the child involved and budget for them.”
She says if it was an “emergency” then at least there would be an explanation – something she “understands”. However, she has a particular problem with parents who do not respect agreements.
The mother’s anger took a personal turn when it came to her own daughter’s 10th birthday party.
The ‘small’ and ‘private’ event took place in a craft shop where each child received a pre-selected craft kit to work on during the event. The party was a prepaid event, paid per child, so any extra children were unpaid and didn’t have their own craft kit.
The invitation to the parents “strongly emphasized” this agreement and at the time no one commented on any issues with it.
In the end, the child threw a tantrum
“Inevitably, on that day, Parent A wants to bring both Child A, who was invited, and Child B, who was not invited,” the mother recalls.
“The excuses that they could share a craft kit and that wouldn’t be fair to Child B were made aggressively. When asked why Child B couldn’t stay with parents, AI was given no reason other than that Child B was upset that they couldn’t go.”
The poster was stuck to their guns and forcefully told the parents that Child B could not come. Then Child B threw the “biggest tantrum” and the parents made no move to calm her down, instead blaming the mother for not letting her in.
She then says that if it had been an at-home event, she might not have made such a fuss, but since it was a paid-per-kid event, “it wasn’t fair to kid A and kid B to get them to share a craft.” Pack.”
Parent A ended up leaving with both children, which infuriated the OP since she had already paid for Child A’s presence.
Other children’s parents told the mother that she should have just let Child B in because “as said above, who says no to a child?”
The OP concluded, “But I think teaching my children the value of their word and sticking to it is more important than sparing the feelings of a child and a parent who should know better.”
“You’re not a daycare center”
Most parents agreed the OP was right, with one saying, “NTA, you’re not a daycare.”
“OF COURSE NTA,” said someone else. “Inviting someone’s kid to a party doesn’t mean they volunteer to babysit the whole family, does it?”
And a third wrote: “They should have spoken to you first instead of just confiding in you with a kid like that.” The fact they didn’t ask you out means they know they were wrong.”
But there were at least two people who thought the OP was too harsh. One said: “They could have been made to share the craft kit, which they’re probably used to, but intervention had to be made and now none of the children have been able to participate.”
And the second wrote, “The only person really affected by the extra child that stayed was the invited child and they didn’t mind sharing it. They should explore the difference between ethics and morals.”