Lifestyle

I shouldn’t be weird when I say I don’t watch porn

Billie Eilish condemned the porn industry, calling it ‘a disgrace’ (Image: AFP via Getty Images)

There are many things Billie Eilish worthy of our thanks.

She will try to cover up her body, the courage she shows in calling trolls on the internet and of course, her music. She is a woman of faith, strength and confidence… all at the tender age of 19.

But this week, she deserves even more gratitude, thanks to an interview she did with Howard Stern in which she condemn the porn industry, called it ‘a disgrace’, and discussed the negative effects of pornography on her brain and sex life.

“I’m angry that porn is so popular and I’m mad at myself for thinking it’s okay,” the singer said, before revealing that she was first exposed to porn in at 11 years old. t think that’s a bad thing. I think that’s how you learn to have sex. ‘

I share Eilish’s disgust and anger. I have never understood how viewing porn has become so normal, accessible and even supported as part of a ‘healthy’ sex life.

When I was reading magazines as a teenager and into my twenties, there would often be articles by sex therapists or relationship ‘experts’ that would reassure readers that watching porn Prostitution is normal.

Because this is the late/early 2010s, society doesn’t understand that women will watch porn, so these articles tend to focus on male partners who are supposed to be female readers and will interpret liked that viewing pornography was part of his inherent curiosity about sex – and not anxiety.

I wasn’t exposed to anything particularly sinister at this point. Porn is passed on among students, but it’s often seen as something funny, harmless, and a sign that we’re coming of age. We’ll watch sitcoms where the male characters’ pornographic habits are portrayed as typical, welcoming, and something that makes us roll our eyes when they get caught masturbating by their girlfriends. , but no more than that.

However, in 2021, given the knowledge we currently have about rampant abuse in the industry – rapes, pedophilia and human trafficking involving the production of certain adult content – pornography is no longer something to laugh at.

Even if a person agrees, how can you tell if she or he has been trafficked into the situation?

An article in the New York Times, written by Nicholas Kristoff last December, exposed PornHub’s drag on PornHub in taking down videos depicting rape and child abuse. The site attracts 3.5 billion unique visitors per month, and like YouTube, it allows visitors to post their own videos.

While I expect the majority of videos uploaded to have adult consent content, many include rape, non-consensual sexual behavior, and child abuse. With titles like ‘Screaming Teens’, ‘Degraded Teens’ and ‘Extremely Choking’, PornHub is abusing its money.

While PornHub denies that they allow child videos on their site, calling such accusations ‘clearly untrue’, many women who recognize themselves as underage in videos uploaded without their consent have denied it. that statement.

“But I don’t watch those,” many will protest – but how would they know? How can you be sure of the age of the people involved in the video? How can you be sure they intend for their family drama to end up on the internet?

Even if a person seems to agree and is clearly working on a ‘professional’ set, how can you tell if she or he has been trafficked into the situation?

You can not. That is the honest truth. So the ‘risks’ of viewing pornography are no longer about whether you will be caught by a ‘cautious’, disapproving partner, but whether you will be viewing sexually suggestive content or without consent. Follow the Cue laughter.

Just as middle-class cocaine users deny that their recreational habits have contributed to an increase in county gang activity, child kidnapping or the deaths of drug mules, How can porn viewers really know the extent of the abuse their clicks are causing?

In addition to the illegality issue, there’s also a huge problem with unrealistically portraying sex online. Billie Eilish talks about the impact of porn watching on her sex life, saying: ‘The first time I had sex, I didn’t say no to bad things and that’s because I thought it was. is what I should do. attracted by… that’s how a lot of people think they have to learn. ‘

Eilish hits an important point here. If we live in a society where talking about sexual activity is considered taboo and inappropriate in an educational setting, then of course young people will turn to the internet to learn about these things. .

‘Ethical’ porn sites have been on the rise in recent years, providing viewers with assurances that performers are engaging in an act of consent and are being paid and treated fairly is equal to. That’s a good start, but it doesn’t address the issue of personal expectations and personal limitations in the bedroom.

What one person may agree online, others may feel uncomfortable in real life. So any type of porn viewer must be aware of the issues of consent, boundaries, and how to respect them.

Sex is fun, sex is messy, silly, wonderful, unpredictable and sometimes disappointing – that’s not always the expectation set by the porn industry.

If it’s prudent to say that I don’t watch porn, that’s perfectly fine with me and I applaud Billie Eilish for speaking so openly about her experiences and opinions on the matter. I wish I was as strong-minded and clear-headed for her age, but in any case, she’ll inspire a younger generation of her followers to know that watching porn is which is completely appropriate.

She is not going to stop the industry, but she has allowed people like me to go against the point and say they don’t understand.

There are many websites that allow verified content producers and sex workers to set their own boundaries and prices, with money directly in their pocket, but while sites like PornHub are independent rights over online pornography, I fear that cycle of abuse will continue.

Do you have a story you want to share? Contact by email jess.austin@metro.co.uk.

Share your views in the comments section below.

THAN : Parents are encouraged to talk to children under the age of nine about pornography and sexual abuse

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https://metro.co.uk/2021/12/17/i-shouldnt-be-the-odd-one-out-for-saying-i-dont-watch-porn-15788230/ I shouldn't be weird when I say I don't watch porn

Tom Vazquez

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