I felt guilty and not being able to connect with my baby as I fell into a dark hole after giving birth, says Malin Andersson

MALIN Andersson has revealed she “fell into a dark hole” after giving birth to her daughter Xaya earlier this year.

The 29-year-old admitted she struggled to connect with her baby as she struggled with “trauma and depression”.

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The Love Island star, who tragically lost her first child, spoke candidly about how she felt about her fans after vowing to be honest with them.

Explaining why she hasn’t been online much lately, she said: “I won’t lie to you all, I lost myself completely since I got pregnant and then I fell into an even darker hole after giving birth. I would look in the mirror and not know who I am anymore.

“I think trauma is underestimated, and when you think you’re healed, the universe throws more shadow work at you.”

Malin went on to explain how her breastfeeding journey was cut short and the impact it had on her.

She said: “After giving birth to Xaya, not only did I get over my caesarean, I was breastfeeding and then had to stop after it became too much and I had mastitis.

“I immediately felt like that’s why I didn’t connect with her in the way I thought I would. I felt a slight detachment and an overwhelming sense of guilt.”

Malin continued: “I felt guilty that Jared had to do most nights at the start because I couldn’t even move my body.

“I was wondering why this beautiful baby was given to me and why I didn’t connect with her soul right away. I felt distant. I felt separate.

“I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep… everything I ever wanted, with a pure, loving family in front of me that I couldn’t really appreciate. An amazing husband, a surreal daughter…

She went on to share how she’s now trying to find herself as Malin — “not just as a mom.”

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