Family drama is nothing out of the ordinary.
Many people have to deal with difficult parents, estranged siblings, or a traumatic upbringing and find a way to move forward.
However, one woman has been called superficial for not wanting to invite certain “sleazy” family members to her wedding.
Anonymous posting on the site momsnet.comthe bride-to-be shared her dilemma:
“I feel so awful and snooty saying this but I’m so scared of inviting most of my family to my wedding because they are very scruffy / have poor hygiene and are very uneducated and just bad narrow minded views have, ie racism etc.”
The woman went on to clarify that she was speaking about the maternal side of the family — her aunts and uncles — explaining that they are not bad people, just a product of their upbringing.
“If they didn’t bother with me it would be easier, but they’ve always been consistent in sending cards and gifts and showing that they care about me and my kids.
“That’s why it makes me so sad and torn inside to even think about not inviting her.”
However, she explained her reasoning by saying she was trying hard to “get away from the dysfunctionality” of her family and the upbringing she was so ashamed of.
“I have a feeling my other half’s family will think I’m trash for coming here.”
The woman said that besides her aunts and uncles, she was nervous about inviting her own mother, father and brother because they “don’t take care of their personal hygiene, hardly brush their teeth, etc.”
“But at least they speak pretty well, and because they’re closer to me, I know I can take them out and pay for haircuts, outfits, etc.”
She said she knew they wouldn’t take offense at the gesture because they “know that I take pride in my looks and have always been a little ‘different’ from her.”
“I think they understand that I love them very much, but I also want them to look presentable.”
She asked readers if it would be okay to invite her mother, father and siblings and leave out her aunts, uncles and cousins.
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings and I care about them, but I also want to enjoy my wedding without worrying about shame and embarrassment.”
Some readers felt their concerns were superficial:
“Tbh you’re sounding pretty shallow about it…Either invite them to celebrate with you and accept them for who they are, or have a smaller wedding and only invite close families,” one person wrote.
“You’re not a terrible person, but it’s a little sad that you think you are [partner’s] Family will think badly of you because your family looks like it,” added a second.
Others, however, gave the woman nonjudgmental advice:
“Invite whoever you want, it’s your wedding,” one wrote.
“[Have a] small wedding or trip abroad and only have two witnesses. I don’t blame you for not wanting her there and I’m not a snob at all,” added another.
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https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/18118679/bride-excludes-trashy-family-from-wedding-shallow/ Bride excludes family from her wedding for being ‘worn out’ and ‘garbage’ but gets trolled for being ‘shallow’