Ballerina Ashley Bouder says she was shamed by NYC Ballet

She is tutu tall?

Here’s what the body-shaming New York City Ballet said about one of their best dancers, according to the tormented ballerina.

The acclaimed troupe “strongly encouraged” star dancer Ashley Bouder, 38, not to perform at their star-studded fall gala because of her “performance,” Bouder posted on Instagram this week.

“I literally hit my wall,” Bouder wrote in the emotional post, which accused the company of allowing longstanding “systemic” and “institutionalized” body shaming.

“Now that I’m facing the twilight of my career, body shaming is still a big deal and it still happens to me. This is heartbreaking,” she said.

Bouder has been a principal dancer with the NYC Ballet since 2005. In the fall of 2021, she tore the plantar fascia in her left foot and was sidelined for about a year while gaining about 10 pounds.

She didn’t identify her alleged tormentors – but did refer to the 2022 New York City Ballet Fall Fashion Gala on September 28 and how it was revealed she was replaced on the bill at the last minute.

“People thought it was an injury, but it wasn’t,” she explained.

“I was far too embarrassed to reveal the truth at that moment, but I was strongly encouraged not to perform because of my looks. So instead I sat respectfully in the audience,” she said, her voice cracking. A heartbreaking photo from the big night shows her on the red carpet with husband Peter de Florio and daughter Violet.

Speaking from the audience, she said she “saw another ballerina dancing in my place while I was sitting next to my daughter who is taking ballet.”

“But honestly, as I sat there thinking about her sanity going forward, especially now, I fear for all of our children,” she said.

This year’s gala honored New York City Ballet Vice Chairwoman Sarah Jessica Parker “for her vision and leadership of the Fall Fashion Gala,” organizers said.

The high-profile gala chairs included Georgina Bloomberg, daughter of former Mayor Michael Bloomberg; Bravo host/producer Andy Cohen and actors Laverne Cox and Claire Danes.

Bouder seemed excited about the glitz and glamor of the event — and getting back on “the stage I love.”

Channeling rapper LL Cool J on September 13, she posted on Instagram, “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Lol, over 22 to be exact. This is my 23rd season with @nycballet and in just one week I will be back on stage at Lincoln Center as of October 12, 2021. This injury has sent me on a loop both physically and mentally after the long COVID break. It’s been a difficult year for me in terms of my career choices, but I’m finally getting to the other side.”

She continued, “My body feels different. my mind is different But I am me And I’m here. And I’ll be back on the stage that I love I will be dancing this beautiful jewel of a ballet on opening night on September 20th and then again on September 23rd and 30th. You can also see me shine in the first movement of the Symphony in C at the Gala on September 28.”

She danced happily with the ballet on September 20th, 23rd and even 30th, two days after the marquee, the gala.

The reason for her 21-minute post – which has already garnered 71,000 views – was not to “throw anyone or any institution under the bus,” she explained.

“I want to go beyond the allure of the ‘ballet body’ and embrace the idea of ​​the ‘healthy body,'” she told the Post.

“Almost nothing about ballet is natural, so physical and mental injuries do occur. Of the hundreds of stories I’ve read in the past two days since my post, most of our stories are similar. They are heartbreakingly similar. May this be a fresh start and a revival of a major shift in the dance world,” she continued.

In her post, she said body shaming is a sad systemic part of ballet.

“I can’t keep silent anymore. I’m beyond embarrassment. i’m tired … I want to normalize talking about body shaming,” she said.

Bouder said she has received “hundreds of messages” of support so far.

“Thank you for your openness and honesty on such a difficult and taboo subject that so many of us face in the dance world. 👏 You are a true ballet icon, an inspiration and a force to be reckoned with on and off stage. Brava 💛💛💛,” one wrote.

“After all the crappy experiences, I still love dancing, and I still love my pointe shoes and tutu,” she confessed in the Instagram video.

Bouder was named an apprentice with the New York City Ballet in June 2000 and became a member of the corps de ballet in October, according to nycballet.com. She was promoted to the rank of principal in February 2004, and in January 2005 Bouder was promoted to principal dancer, the website states.

The Carlisle native Pa. has danced in The Nutcracker and Serenade and won the prestigious Prix Benois de la Dance – the ballet version of the Oscars – in 2019 for her role as Swanida in Coppelia. The ballet competition is held annually in Moscow.

She also runs her own company, The Ashley Bouder Project, an arts collaboration “dedicated to advancing women and diversity in creative and leadership roles in the performing arts world.”

As long as she’s been a pro, she’s endured her share of comments about her weight and physique, she said in the Instagram video.

On one occasion, while she was in Saratoga State for the company’s summer season, she was pulled aside by “an influential ballet mistress,” saying, “The big boss really likes me and wanted to put me in bigger roles — right away — but fine with that.” I should think about losing five to ten pounds.”

Bouder, then just 16, said she wasn’t “shocked,” so she nodded, and “of course I lost the weight and started landing parts.”

She’s now thinking, ‘What if I hadn’t lost that weight? I really don’t think my career would be what it is today.”

The New York City Ballet is no stranger to backstage drama.

In 2018, the company announced that legendary Peter Martins, longtime director of the New York City Ballet, was retiring following allegations of sexual harassment.

Bouder insisted she’s not hanging up her pointe shoes just yet.

She said she has no plans to leave NYCB or sue. “My goal is to finish my career but make a positive change in the dance world overall,” she said.

The NYC Ballet did not immediately return a message asking for comment.