Alfredo: The Hood’s favorite forever and ever

My friends and I had a funny joke that we used a lot as teenagers. Every time we got into a romantic relationship, we would say something like this to the girl we were with: “Do you love me? Do you really love me?”

Some of those significant others smiled, while others put on serious expressions—until I ended by saying, “Cause if you really love me baby, then please don’t fuck Alfredo!”

On almost every occasion the young woman burst out laughing, but she didn’t, then she certainly did after we explained that every girl from our favorite dish was chicken alfredo.

Well, my mom never made it, my grandma had never heard of it and there were no Italians around, but surprisingly it became a favorite dish. I’ve never complained about this because, in my extremely unpopular opinion, alfredo tastes way better than spaghetti with red sauce and I don’t recall turning down any.

“What the hell can you do, silly?” Moni asked my close friend Al after he made the “Only East Baltimore girls know how to make alfredo” joke.

“Not the slightest bit,” he replied, pausing to smack his blunt. “But I’m sure even I like nothing better than your old ass Alfredo!”

Moni won the argument because Al ate two or three servings each time she prepared the dish. In fact, we all ate two or three servings every time we got our hands on it — and I don’t remember ever eating it as a kid. Alfredo showed up during high school and took over the neighborhood. Most people who experimented with alfredo used store-bought sauce and it was still delicious.

Alfredo was the first pasta dish I tried experimenting with, adding different types of cheese, chicken, chicken and shrimp, or lobster — and it was a hit every time.

Alfredo has stuck with me for years, but I’ve said goodbye to store-bought stuff and really perfected my sauce over the pandemic. At least from the point of view of a hobby chef. Full Disclaimer: Although I use parmesan cheese, I prefer a vegan version of heavy whipping cream so I don’t get overloaded with dairy. I also cook my pasta in broth using bowtie noodles because they’re cleaner than fettuccine. I like my soup with crab meat, shrimp and lobster, but you should add your protein of choice.