What do you lie down and think about?
According to a recent survey, during sex, up to 40% of men often daydream about sleeping with a co-worker, while a quarter of women dream of being soiled. . . with household chores.
But what do our thoughts during the peak of passion really mean?
Here, leading sex expert KATE TAYLOR deciphers our deepest desires.
Are you an adrenaline junkie?
BDSM activities such as spanking and tying go beyond the power game.
A 2014 study found that being dominated in bed affects blood flow to the brain and releases powerful endorphins that create an “altered state” of consciousness, similar to that of a runner.
You may be a thrill seeker in all areas of your life and you are always on the lookout for new experiences. The tendency to get bored easily can attract people to dominant partners.
EARN A SIGN UP
Do you want to own the meeting room?
One study found that equal numbers of men and women fantasized about dominating a partner, with 59% of men and 46% of women dreaming of holding the reins (or whip!).
You might be interested in control in all areas of your life – and you’ll love Succession on TV.
DREAM ABOUT CHORES
You know how to fake it
IF your mind wanders to the tidying closet while your partner is giving you all of them, or you’ve been watching too much Mrs Hinch or you’re finding sex dull.
It may not be your lover’s fault. It could be that you’ve never revealed what you really want, so sex has become something you do for them.
You may even have put up with faking – a 2019 study found that shy women would rather fake orgasms than go public about their true desires in the bedroom.
IMPACT ON COLLEAGUE
You spend too much time on Zoom
It’s normal to have erotic thoughts about co-workers – especially if you’ve been working too hard.
Spend more than 40 hours a week with anyone who can make you like or hate them. Either way, you’re thinking about them.
Research has found that the more often you look at a face, the more attractive you find it. So, if you’re in love with a coworker, consider swapping face-to-face meetings or Zoom chats for old-fashioned phone calls.
SEXUAL REGENERATION WITH ONE EX
You miss your youth
WHEN you find yourself walking around in steamy memories, you probably don’t really miss your ex. Chances are you’re feeling wistful about a certain period of your life.
For example, if you daydream about your most recent ex, you may feel vulnerable when it comes to dating and insecure. If your mind goes back to your first love, you may feel nostalgic for your youth and youthful self.
Take these fantasies as a sign that you are not completely satisfied with your current situation and shake things up.
SEX WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE
You are a cheerful person
IF you fantasize about having sex with multiple people at different times, you are probably looking for validation or self-worth from an outside source.
But if you fantasize about having sex with multiple people at once, say during an orgy, chances are you’re an extrovert. Other signs that you are talkative and have a good sense of humour.
A SAME SAME-GAME ACCOUNTANT
You need to care about sex in your own hands (literally)
According to social psychologists, same-sex fantasies are more common in women than in men.
But whether you’re a guy or a girl, they can show that you’re not yet accepting of your own sexuality.
A gay pose that shows you and all of your charms, and is an imaginative way to discover yourself.
Carried away? Take this fantasy as a sign that you need to honor your body, desires, and sex drive. Try a “self-care” weekend.
HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC
You worry too much about what other people think
The INDUSTRY you feel in everyday life can often show up in your naughty dreams.
So when you fantasize about seeing the whole world, it’s a clue that you’ve spent too much time worrying about what people think of you.
The flip side of this fantasy is voyeurism – watching other people without their knowledge. One study found that 54% of men fantasized about stalking someone in secret. That can reveal a need for power.
SEX WITH A RAIL
You are a pleaser
SEX with a stranger can help a person focus on the test. It can take away feelings of inhibition, allowing you to express your desires without judgment.
You are more likely to dream of having sex with a stranger if you are a people pleaser and put your partner’s needs first. It could be a wake-up call to you that you need to be more selfish among the papers.
SEX IN A romancing position
Are you afraid of being abandoned?
The more perfect your sexual fantasies, the more anxious you are about your relationship. One study followed 48 couples’ sexual fantasies for three weeks.
It found that participants with an anxious attachment style — meaning they feel fearful about being in a relationship — tended to fantasize primarily about sexual encounters involving multiple events. Perfect and intimate, especially if the relationship is strained or they’ve been arguing.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/17789727/sex-fantasy-meaning-colleague-outdoor-sex/ You won’t believe what your sexual fantasies really mean