Jackson, played by Ego Nwodim, was greeted by James Austin Johnson’s President Joe Biden, whom she teased for not being able to pronounce her name.
“I bet you can’t say that three times faster,” said Nwodim.
“I’m shocked that I was able to say it so slowly for once,” Johnson admitted, before boasting about fulfilling his campaign promise to try a black woman on the nation’s highest court.
“One campaign promise down, 74 more to go,” cracked the fake Biden.
“I was happy to do my part. Work twice as hard as a white man my whole life and then spend a week listening to Ted Cruz call me a pedophile,” the new judge said of her controversial confirmation hearings.
Biden then left Jackson in his office to commune with the spirits of Americans who paved the way for her historic endorsement.
Kate McKinnon’s Ruth Bader Ginsberg delivered one of her trademark “gins burns” about Cruz. Kenan Thompson’s Thurgood Marshall and Punkie Johnson’s Harriet Tubman offered their best wishes, while Chris Redd’s Jackie Robinson was shocked to learn that even “bad” modern baseball players are millionaires.
After the opening, host Jake Gyllenhaal, 41, lamented that he hadn’t hosted the NBC show since 2007, when he promoted “Brokeback Mountain,” and feared he’d forgotten how to do it.
“That was about 400 Marvel movies ago,” he joked.
His nerves quickly gave way to confidence as he launched into a soaring rendition of Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.”
Kenan Thompson hosted a game show titled “Why’d You Like It” that put contestants to the test to reveal the true nature of why they liked certain Instagram posts.
Finally, during interrogation, Gyllenhaal spilled the beans about why he double-tapped a thirst-trap photo of an attractive woman in a bikini.
“I guess part of me thought if I liked it she would see that I liked it and then she would follow me back and then we would have DM and then maybe at some point, I don’t know, she would want to have sex with me,” Gyllenhaal admitted.
“Just to clarify that your girlfriend is here tonight,” Thompson said.
“You are a stupid man,” scolded Nwodim, who played his girlfriend, angrily.
In a pre-taped sketch, Gyllenhaal and Mikey Day played reality show renovators who were forced to alter their plans for Heidi Gardner’s dream home to accommodate the overbearing religious mother of her “quiet milquetoast husband Pat — who is deeply uncomfortable in front of the camera.” ‘ performed by Austin Johnson.
Gyllenhaal broke back into song in two back-to-back skits — first as part of a middle-aged cabaret group singing about their worldly accomplishments to a tune called “That’s Enough For Me,” and then as part of a floral ensemble that didn’t appreciate being part of pollinated and smothered by horny bees and weeds.
“Looks like you’re having sex with his head,” Melissa Villaseñor told Bowen Yang’s busy bumblebee.
“I basically squeeze a lot of goo out of my butt, then people eat it,” he explained. “Pretty naughty, isn’t it?”
Next, Gyllenhaal played a corporate HR manager tasked with settling a violent dispute between hateful coworkers Chloe Fineman, Villaseñor, Nwodim, and a pint-sized “Chucky,” played by Sarah Sherman.
“Weekend Update” targeted the political events of the week in a series of “News” stories delivered by Colin Jost and Michael Che.
Jost noted that at least 50 senior Washington DC officials fell ill with COVID-19 after attending an elite dinner party.
“The problem was that a lot of people took off their masks during the period Post dinner orgy‘ he cracked as an over-the-shoulder graphic featured a scene from Eyes Wide Shut.
The fox that was Attacks on lawmakers and journalists in the US Capitol “came down with rabies when bitten by Marjorie Taylor Greene,” he joked.
Che noted that former President Donald Trump said he stormed the building on Jan. 6 last year, but was prevented by intelligence agencies from taking part in the riot.
“Keeps him from storming the Capitol, too, footsteps. Too many steps,” Che joked to a picture of the Capitol’s grand entrance.
The comics, which hosted the 2018 Emmys, joked that forcing Will Smith to host next year’s Oscars would be a better punishment than excluding him from the four-hour ceremony.
Gyllenhaal then took center stage again, portraying an ailing Doc Holiday who was slow on the draw in a parody of “Wyatt Earp” and a man in couples counseling whose therapist was having relationship problems of his own.
“Bitch, I told you not to call me while I’m at work,” Punkie Johnson’s shrink yelled at her dumped lover. “Oh really, you’re going to shoot me?! I want you to try! It can be seen!”
Gyllenhaal flexed his vocal chords once more to round out the show with a trucker song commercial that covered themes of urination, masturbation and hitchhiking.
“Don’t forget which mug is a drink and which one is full of piss,” the actor sang while piloting his big rig.
Cuban-born Camila Cabello gave energetic performances of her pop songs “Bam Bam” and “Psychofreak” on relatively sparse sets.
Lizzo is expected to do double duty next week, as first-time presenter and returning musical guest.
“SNL” star Peter Davidson was once again absent from the live show.
https://nypost.com/2022/04/10/snl-shows-off-jake-gyllenhaals-vocal-chops/ “SNL” showcases Jake Gyllenhaal’s vocal qualities