New mothers wish they had known before giving birth

Many mothers are shocked by what their bodies go through after giving birth (Image: Getty Images)

Motherhood is not glamorous.

No one denies that.

But preparing for the life-changing experience of giving birth to another human being – and all that comes before and after that process – is difficult to do.

However, there are taboos and unspoken truths surrounding motherhood that are rarely shared.

Research by menstrual brand Frida shows 78% mothers shocked by what their bodies go through after giving birth.

Evelyn, 39, from Essex, wants to raise awareness about what it’s like to be a real mother and the things she wishes she had told first.

Speaking to, the solicitor who specializes in child law said: ‘Anxiety is a huge problem that I have to endure during and after my pregnancy. Anxiety is concerned with whether the pregnancy will last and for the safety of the baby after it is born.

‘Tragedies such as death in a crib torment the mind.

‘Having a good support network is crucial to being able to cope with childbirth, especially if it’s your first child. Whether it’s family, friends and professional support services, it takes some support to be able to cope.

‘This needs to be done during pregnancy and after giving birth. A good support network will also be able to detect if you are dealing with your new baby, I’ve known a few women with postpartum depression and didn’t know they had it. until someone else determines this. ‘

Mental pain was only part of her experience.

Evelyn after giving birth to her second child (Image: Frida)

Physically, both the gore and the recovery left Evelyn in shock, who believed ‘no one would tell you’ that this was likely.

“I was not warned of the extreme fatigue that would be suffered – it would take time to return to normal,” she added.

‘But most importantly, no one will tell you, not even the women themselves, about the horrible bleeding you have to endure after giving birth.

‘It goes on for a few weeks sometimes months after birth. It is quite painful after having to go through so many experiences during childbirth. You need to have a lot of maternity pads. ‘

While the experience of giving birth will vary from person to person, the act is often placed on top of a pedestal – and many women find that an appreciation for how it affects their mental and physical well-being is rarely appreciated. show.

Even because of the mere hormonal changes, Evelyn was shocked when she discovered she had carpal tunnel syndrome due to pregnancy.

She said: ‘It’s a condition that affects the nerves in the hand and wrist. I never knew it was a possible hormonal condition during pregnancy and didn’t notice the signs until it got really bad.

She believes many ‘assumed’ women will only know about these and that pressure to avoid talking about the pains of motherhood keeps information from being shared.

‘Once the baby is born, the pregnancy and birth experience is forgotten and everyone is surprised and focused on the new baby.

She said: “The experience of mothers and how they feel when they have to sit in the back seat.

A study earlier this year found that many mothers struggle to talk about the ‘ugly’ aspect of motherhood and how isolated this can lead to feeling.

A similar story seems to exist around childbirth, as Charlotte, 26, says she didn’t anticipate how bad the pelvic pain and ligament strain would be.

Charlotte, from the Wirral, said: “I wish I had been forewarned – and how common water infections are.

‘I wish someone had told me that pregnant women are more sensitive to the sun. One day I walked in the sun as usual and after an hour it looked like a sweet red and white.

‘As for postpartum, no one warned me about the trapped wind you can experience as all your organs move back to their original positions.

‘There was a time when it really hurt to think I was having a heart attack – we had to call an ambulance to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. I had absolutely no idea it was wind trapped. ‘

Like Evelyn, this causes mental anguish and anxiety about what is ‘normal.’

If she goes on with more knowledge, Charlotte believes she will be much more comfortable and less pressured into all the new experiences.

Charlotte did not expect the pelvic pain to be so strong (Image: Frida)

‘I was doing my best when I was going through the pain of stretching the stomach ligaments.

“I also worry about calling my midwives too often, but all of my midwives have been wonderful and really supportive,” she added.

This is especially true during the ‘hypohormone’ period after giving birth, when she finds herself crying over the smallest things, such as a toothbrush.

Sherry, a 32-year-old who works at the General Pharmaceutical Council believes she was not warned about the realities of childbirth for fear it would stress her out – but she doesn’t think ignorance happy in this case.

She said: ‘Looking back, I really wish I had been told how important it was to take care of yourself after pregnancy.

‘Emotional, mental and physical well-being is put to the side because of the precious commodity you are taking care of.

Tragedies such as death in a crib await the mind

‘It was surreal that baby Harley had the anxiety and pain I was going through at the time.

‘Small things like taking a long shower, drinking a quiet cup of tea or watching an episode of a show just give me time to put myself first and make a big difference from how I feel that day. .

‘The advice I give is to never feel bad about putting yourself first to help you care for your newborn in a better place.

‘I really wish I was told how bad the consequences of childbirth really are for your body – the stitches and cuts, the blood, the pain, the low mood and the giving dilemma suckling.’

Chelsea Hirschhorn, Frida CEO and mother of three, has led a campaign encouraging people to share their real birth stories.

She says there are a lot of ‘pointless parenting moments – moments you don’t usually see on Instagram.’

Chelsea added: ‘We wanted to shed light on the reality of being a mother and encourage more candid conversations about what really goes on in the delivery room – and beyond.

‘Ultimately, we want first-time moms to feel as mentally prepared as third-time moms, and that ambition is at the heart of True Birth Announcement.’

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Tom Vazquez

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