I’m a Sex Expert – six easy ways to spice up your sex life and tips on how to organize your kinky stuff for maximum pleasure

IF your relationship is more dusty than desirable, now is the perfect time to bring the shine back.

Sexpert Alix Fox shares her tips on how to put your love life into action

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REFRESH YOUR KINKY KIT

IF you’re clinging to an old sex toy that failed to turn you on, or still have those handcuffs that keep you tied to bad memories with an ex, Alix thinks it’s time to get rid of it.

She says: “Did they have the wrong shape? Too loud? Not strong enough?

“Keep this in mind to help you choose substitutes that deliver ‘Big Os’ rather than being big disappointments.”

Also check the expiration dates of the products.

Alix says: “Old condoms are more likely to break, while chemicals in some expired lubes can cause itching, burning, allergies or even a nasty infection.

“Throw out anything that has changed its color, texture, or smell.”

When disposing of sex toys, check to see if your local authority has a Waste Electrical and Electronic Equipment (WEEE) recycling system via RecycleNow.com.

If you stock up, sex toy sellers Gaia are making the world’s first biodegradable toys from cornstarch plastics, from £10 at PlayfulPromises.com.

ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS

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“Just like a black sock can turn an entire white wash into a scruffy gray, a dark thought about your partner can easily spoil an intimate night,” says Alix.

“If something minor but aggravating about your lover is bothering you, have a calm conversation and agree on a plan together to solve the problem, and then draw a line under it.”

Alix says it’s also easy to hold on to small ailments and grumbles, especially when you’re tired. She says, “It can be a shame to have those emotional ‘socks’ unnecessarily inked on what could have been a great date.

“To keep anger from running through your head like a clothes dryer, ask yourself, ‘Will I still be upset about this tomorrow, or will I be even more upset if I let it ruin it tonight?’

“Try imagining putting the ‘sock’ in a mental laundry basket and closing the lid.”

CLEAN YOUR DIARY

“COUPLES complain that they don’t have enough time to network and that they’re too tired to get lewd,” explains Alix. “Each day, keep a log of what you do to identify ‘obstacles’ and ‘opportunities’.

“Obstacles are things that get in the way of sexual play – there might be some that you can move or remove.

“Is that half an hour spent mindlessly scrolling through social media really better than cuddling up with your partner? If you both tackle a chore around the house, it might help you feel less tired and more in the mood for sex.

“Opportunities are areas where you could add more enjoyment and intimacy. When the kids have exercise classes, use that time for one regular date during the day.

“Or try giving each other a massage while watching this week’s episode of the TV series you love.”

STOP GUSTING UP LUST

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Always having sex the same way can quickly feel boring and monotonous for both partners.

Alix believes spring is the ideal time to brush things up.

She says: “Challenge yourself to change just one small thing every time you make love over the next few weeks. By maintaining the same position, you can see what it’s like to put on or take off clothes, stay still blindfolded, in another room, or with the window open.

“Keeping your love life fresh doesn’t always need intimidating, extreme adventures. Sometimes subtle shifts are enough to keep things rusty and dusty.”

IMPROVE YOUR SEX ROOM

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Small changes to bedroom decor can do wonders for your libido.

Alix says: “Use dimmable, colour-changing lightbulbs to quickly change the atmosphere in your bedroom from sunny to muggy. Flattering low light can help you feel more confident about your body, and if you can’t see crumbs on the carpet or cobwebs in corners, you’re less likely to be distracted.

“If working from home makes it impossible to keep business out of the bedroom, try draping a sheet over your desk.

“Setting an alarm at the end of each day to shut up shop can help you psychologically shift your mindset from professional mode to recreational mode — and become fruity.”

And if you don’t have a place to store sexy underwear and toys, Alix has a handy tip.

She advises, “Organize toys in hanging plastic bags in your closet, with a suit cover over them to protect them from prying eyes.”

MUCK IN MICRO DATES

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“MICRO-DATES are little moments of romance that can add more excitement to a relationship than you can imagine,” explains Alix.

“Think of them as courtship confetti to sprinkle into your days to make things feel passionate wherever you can.” Dance to “your song” in your living room. Meet your partner at the bus stop and walk home or shower together on the last leg of the commute.”

Alix advises that planning for intimacy is also key. She says: “Planning makes it a priority and something to look forward to, rather than an afterthought that you’re trying to cram into.

“Of course, no one should feel compelled to have sex when ‘Saucy Sunday’ rolls around when they don’t feel like it, but make an effort to set aside the allotted time to dedicate it to mutual pleasure.”