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Experts say why office romance is a GOOD idea and leads to lasting love

KEEN to find lasting love? Look no further than the workplace.

After months of working from home, back to the office It also means a return to copier glances, kitchen flirting and drinks at the end of the day.

Eager to find lasting love? Look no further than the workplace.

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Eager to find lasting love? Look no further than the workplace.

Two thirds of us have been romantic relationship with a colleagueAccording to a study by career website Career Builder, 31% of people who start dating at work will marry their partner.

Despite the explosive popularity of dating appCouples who stick to work are still the ones most likely to go the distance.

We spend more time – often 40 hours a week – with our co-workers than with practically anyone else in our lives.

This alone made us more likely to fall into the hands of our colleagues. It’s part of the Exposure Effect, the tendency to like something the more we spend it.

One study even showed that when people were shown pictures of the opposite sex, they tended to prefer those with whom they had direct contact.

Opposites do not attract

The old adage that attracts opposites is not true – it’s the similarities that matter.

Studies on homosexuality – love the same – show that people are more likely to forming friendships and relationships with people who live nearby, or have similar education or values.

All of the above are more likely to happen if you have been employed by the same company.

Lawyer turned therapist Annmarie Carvalho, from Manchestermarried Adam 9 years ago after they met while working at a high-end law firm.

Annmarie, 41 years old, currently runs a consulting and training business for lawyers at carvalhotherapy.com“In many ways, your company’s hiring process may have helped you a lot as both are likely to be hired based on your similar education and life goals. ”

Communicate without words

Annmarie believes that romantic relationships at work are also more likely to last because you get to know each other better.

“Every profession has its own unspoken language and culture,” she says.

“For example, my husband Adam and I trained and worked at one of the leading companies in London so we’ve shared a strong work ethic that helps understand when you need to work long hours. “

She also says you can get to know someone much better working with them than meeting through a dating app or one-off event.

She said: “If you online datingyou probably have a pretty fixed idea of ​​what type of person you are, whereas if you meet someone at work you have a much better chance of developing an attraction based on more than just looks because you have Work with them and know them at work. .

“If you’ve seen each other at both your best and your worst, and still decide to move forward in a relationship, you’ve got a solid foundation.”

It’s not all about sex

There will be more mutual respect if you have meet your partner in the officePsychotherapist Lohani Noor says.

“You’re less likely to see them as just sexual creatures if you’ve just met them on a dating site,” says Lohani, author of the 12-step audio guide to hooking up.

If you’re online dating, you probably have a pretty fixed idea of ​​who you are, while if you meet someone at work, you’ll have more chances to develop an attraction based on a variety of factors. something more than looks because you’ve worked with them and got to know them at work

Lawyer-turned-therapist Annmarie Carvalho

“You’re also more likely to understand their time requirements and the pressures involved, and less likely to be turned down if your partner has to work very hard or come home late.”

You can even bring some of your communication and negotiation skills to an older adult from the meeting room to the bedroomsays therapist Rachel Vora, of cypwellbeing.com.

“Tough conversations in the workplace can be a great way to approach conflict in personal relationships,” she explains.

“Other skills that you can use both in relationships as well as at work include effective communication and the ability to compromise.

“Even just being able to spend more time together can help establish your relationship.

“When we spend a third of our time at work, if we have a partner with whom we can share this, the more likely it is that the relationship will survive.”

Drinks available during happy hour

So how does office romance blossom in the first place?

The the most likely place for love to bloom is during celebratory drink, with one study showing how 12% of employee couples met.

For about 10%, it’s after a night of working late together or arranging a lunch break together.

Of course, there are also pitfalls in love affairs.

Your colleagues may have mixed feelings, you are sure to be the target of gossip, and if you are in a relationship with someone lower or higher, you may be concerned about racism partial.

Then there are shame if it turns sour.

According to a survey by the recruitment company Totaljobs, one employee believes that breaking up with a colleague has a bad effect on the work relationship. One in seven people will leave their job if a romance ends.

Play by the rules

Concerns about workplace harassment have also led some companies to Ask employees to tell their human resources department if they have been in a relationship for more than two months.

Some companies, including Facebook, stipulate that you can only date a coworker once. If they say no, or don’t answer clearly, you can’t ask again.

So, after months of silent passion in Zoom meeting during the lockdown can we expect an explosion of romance in the workplace now that the UK is back in business?

Therapist Lohani thinks so. “A lot of my clients are yearning to make a loving connection again,” she says.

“We need others. But the work-from-home lockdown has taken away many of these very basic needs.

“I predict there will be an explosion in relationships – and including marriage.”

‘It hit me…so I kissed him’

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EMMA and Peter Lloyd from Cheshire, both 43, met at work and are married with two adopted children, six-year-old Robin and three-year-old Andrew. They run a courier company. Emma says:

Peter and I met in November 1997 when he joined Flying Colors and we are both 18 years old. I work as a receptionist, he is an office postal worker.

Peter is not the type of person I see twice on a night out, or on a dating site. If Tinder was around that time, I wouldn’t have swiped right.
He’s very skinny and I like muscular, muscular men.

I also tend to be attracted to loud men and Peter is not. I knew Peter was attracted to me but I didn’t feel the same way and said no when he asked me out on a date.

But in 2006 we went to Malta for a four-day work conference and then he filled in a bit and even got into muscle. We are working, but also treat it as a holiday. We all hang out as colleagues, fight in bars.

Peter and I had a chance to chat and laugh. We got along so well that when we got home, we got into the habit of texting each other every day. After about a week, he asked me out. I rejected him flatly.

I still believe that he is not my type. He stepped back.

A few weeks later, our Maltese group met for a drink. It was awkward for Peter but as the evening wore on, things became more comfortable. At some point in the evening, we danced together.

I look at him and I really like him that way. When the song ended, I kissed him. Obviously he was surprised but he kissed me back right away. I can honestly say it was the best kiss I’ve ever had.

We started seeing each other and six weeks later he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too.

Six months later, in May 2006, we moved in together and a year later got engaged. We were married in May 2009. I regret wasting my time thinking that Peter couldn’t be one of those people.

The best working relationship when you can see the full version of a person. You are always with them, there is no way that you can continue to act or pretend to be someone you are not.

Jeff Zucker resigns as CNN president after a secret affair with senior executive Allison Gollust was exposed during the Cuomo investigation

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/17662004/office-romances-good-idea-experts/ Experts say why office romance is a GOOD idea and leads to lasting love

Dais Johnston

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